I want to go home,
Where I’m free,
Where I’m still me
Where I look in my mind,
And find more than empty space,
The face of someone I love,
whose name I can’t remember,
I remember how they sound,
Now I’m lost, never found
Can you tell me? Who I am? Where I go?
Please tell me.
Because I don’t know.
I want to go home,
Where I’m free,
Where I’m still me,
Where my brain’s not mush, hush the nurses
Go,
The meds are good for me they say,
But they would, it’s their way,
As day after day,
I take tablet and pill,
Knowing they’ll kill me
Them. The Men Downstairs,
They come for me,
But I can’t walk, can barely talk, let alone scream,
It’s just a bad dream
I’m going to wake up soon
Why am I not waking up?
I want to go home,
Where I’m free,
Where I’m still me
Where they haven’t taken my money
And, no, it’s not funny
Why are you laughing?
Stop laughing.
As I’m crying, dying,
Willing for the pain to stop,
To have my mind back
To feel like me again
Tell me,
Where’s my baby,
She was crawling, bawling, calling for her mum,
I’m coming, darling,
Where are you?
Where am I?
What’s this black
That’s pulling me back
To my foggy mind
And everything I’ve left behind
I want to go home
Where I’m free,
Where I’m still me,
Where there’s my Claire,
With her smile
That makes it all worthwhile
And I love her
How she never lies
Never makes me hate
Wait to say I love you
I love how she gossips, her husky voice,
Her laugh like summer rain,
Right now, there’s a freight train
Pounding in my head, I wish I was dead,
Because I need to remember, but I can’t,
What’s wrong with me?
I want to go home,
Where I’m free
Where I’m still me
Where I don’t have to watch Jeremy Kyle
Forced to shout bingo
Oh god no,
Where I don’t have to sing with Vera Lynn,
Where I don’t struggle to live,
Where I don’t smell,
Where I’m not in hell,
I want to go home,
Where I’m free,
Where I’m still me,
Where there’s my baby girl,
My daughter,
Right now, I’m underwater
Drowning in the depths of my soul
In the hole where I lose who I am
I’m an empty shell,
And who will I tell,
Who will listen to me?
A crazy old man,
Invisible.
A ghost, chained to this earth,
Forced to live a lie
And please, God, let me die
I want to go home,
Where I’m free,
Where I’m still me,
Where I’m not deaf
Where every breath
Stolen from my body
Doesn’t leave me in agony
Where I’m not shutting down,
Where my face isn’t stitched in a frown,
Where I’m not lying in my own piss and shit
And don’t worry,
I’m not sorry if that offends you,
Not one bit,
I want to go home,
Where I’m free
Where I’m still me
Where I can wipe my own fucking arse
Maybe that lacks class, but give me a pass,
Because I should be able to
Say what I want
To whom I want
When I want,
But I can’t,
Because I don’t know what I want,
Who I am? Where to go?
Please tell me,
Because I don’t know
I want to go home,
Where I’m free,
Where I’m still me
Because I am still me
I am still me
I am still me
Am I still me?
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